Two months...

Dear Little One,

How ironic that two months ago this past Monday it was that we lost you and you are due in exactly two months from that date.  The closer it gets, the more I miss you.

Mommy and daddy have decided to try again.  We're both looking for jobs.  But we want a baby.  It's not to replace you.  You are irreplaceable.  We love you so much.  I read somewhere that someone viewed their angel baby as best guardian angel for their brothers and sisters ever.  And I like that thought.  Even though trying to have another baby will be difficult, I know you'll be the best guardian angel ever.

Mommy is very scared to try again.  I don't know that I could handle loosing another baby.  But I want very much to have another one.  Knowing that mommy has this gene that can cause me to loose little ones like you is a nightmare.  But you were still very precious.  I guess we'll never know if it's this gene mutation or my appendicitis that caused you to have to go to Heaven.  But at least that's where you are.  Sitting in God's lap.

I miss you so much.  Every time I go shopping I see things that I wish I could get for you.  I have outfits that I bought for you that you'll never wear.  Maybe if you have a sister she can wear them.  It would be like an angel's hand-me-downs.  I don't know.  I bought them especially for you so I guess we'll see.

I love you little one.

Love,

Mommy