Beautiful Dollbaby

Beautiful Dollbaby
Our Angel in Heaven

Monday, August 1, 2011

A parent's love for their child...

I'm going to continue from a thought I had yesterday.  It was my thought about my willing to take 1,000 needle pokes, 10,000 times the pain I've experienced, and been willing to subject myself to any medical test or proceedure they could conjure just to save my beautiful Ashley.  My love for her is so great I would be willing to subject myself to such pain that I would normally never volunteer for.  I would have appendicitis 20 times if it would bring her back.

If I would be willing to subject myself to such pain for my child, what did God go through when his son was on the cross?  What does God go through when we hurt and experience loss? Truth be told I realized something when I was thinking on this last night as I was trying to fall asleep.  I realized that God does not wish us to know the pain of loosing a child or any other such pain.  I realized that God hurts with us because he made the ultimate sacrifice by sacrificing his son for us.  How much pain does God experience when he looses one of his children to hell? God's heart breaks with us and for us through everything.  His heart breaks when we hurt.  His heart breaks when we loose a child or other loved one.  His heart breaks when he looses a child.  He would do anything to save us from this pain and therefore sacrificed his son so that we could spend eternity with him.

While I have been angry at God and may be again, I know he loves me.  And I know he intended for a perfect world but sin and evil are present and therefore perfect is nothing but a dream.  I know that he wishes I didn't have to go through such painful heartbreak, such suffering, because our God is a loving God.  As a parent hurts for their child, as my mother hurt for me watching me loose our beautiful Ashley, God hurts for us!  And such hurt for someone is only possible through such a great love I can't begin to describe it.

I realized how much I truly love my Ashley when I was willing to put my life on the risk to save hers.  I risked a lethal infection.  And I was willing to subject myself to the worst pain of my life if it would help her.  A child I never knew outside my womb.  I had wondered before this if I'd be a good mother.  Would I love my baby enough? Would I do right by her? Would I be there for her? And realizing now I would have sacrificed my life for her, I know that I loved her as much as any parent can love a child.  And that my love for her is as indescribable as it comes.

If I can feel such love for a child I only knew inside my womb, imagine the love God has for us.

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